24th March. From the 80s with fire…

by felicitamodna82

24th March 1982.  A proud woman gave birth to her second daughter (and third child). She had to fight to give the daughter her surname. Having a child outside marriage, giving the child the mother’s name, raising a child alone….well, this was not that common during the 80s in Italy. But that woman survived the Second World War (where her own mother died) and she was not scared by the whole situation.

Somehow that woman managed to go on. Here I am, bearing my mother’s name, raised by a supplementary foster family and still trying to get something “normal” in this life! (“normal” has to be abolished, as far as my vocabulary is concerned…)

Being “abnormal” or “paranormal” is probably the reason why I am such a living earthquake, full of passion, always louder than allowed. Or, at least, I like thinking that this is the reason.

It is my 29th birthday. My twenties are coming to an end. I know: I managed a lot, coming from a difficult family background (including violence and boarding school). Still, I am not satisfied. I am trying to hurry my dissertation to get my Ph.D. I am trying to understand where I have to be and how, what mission I have to accomplish. I am searching for something.

pensa se la incontravi 10 anni fa la tua anima gemella, con la testa che ti ritrovavi 10 anni fa per dire!!!Oh mio dio! (imagine what if you met your soul mate ten years ago…I mean, as the kind of person you used to be ten years ago!!! Oh my god!) Guido aka Abo/Eibo, 23rd March 2011

But the main reason I am writing this for is to thank many people. I finally learned to enjoy the journey – even it is not exactly going the way I wanted to – and I recognised I have to thank many of you for having taken part.

Thanks, mami. I would have never done what you did. Nevertheless I would not be here without you. I know it is hard to have me in Salzburg. I am sorry. I had to try it.

Thanks mami nr. 2 and papi. For everything. I owe you everything.

Thanks, schoolmates of any grade. I still remember any of you. Really.

Thanks, friends from the compagnia Cittadella. You would not believe how much I miss the time we used to be always together.

Thanks old friends. Maria, whom I don’t see that much any more but I still remember. Francesca, who is still here.

Thanks, friend from the BA in Bologna and the MA in Modena.

Thanks, friends from  Modena. Politics? Music? Whatever? We shared so much and sometimes we still share a lot.

Thanks, friends from the Curva Montagnani and Braglia stadium. I am looking forward to seeing you again in a few hours. Sharing a passion and our pride is a strong connection. Many will not understand, but we do.

Thanks, many thanks, Nicola. I am still sorry, believe me, but it was the right decision. Anyway I owe you a lot and we shared a lot. This is the reason why you have your own thank you, even before others I really care for a lot.

Thanks Alice. You are one of the nicest people I have ever met. Entering a “true” job was not that easy but your smile helped me very much. When I am lacking motivation I recall your remarks. It really works! Looking forward to seeing you in the next days.

Many thanks. Florian. In the first place, because you were sitting in the “wrong” seminar ( because I am sure you think of it that way;-)!). In the second place, because you talked to me. You cannot believe how hard it was being alone in Salzburg and trying to talk and to be heard.  There is so much I would have to thank you for. I will never forget what you did. (which can also sound like a threat…).

Many thanks, Sylvia. You have been my only friend in Salzburg for some months. I still miss you.

Many thanks, Marty, for being humorous, almost as irreverent as myself, and an historian as well.

Thanks, Fabio and Francesco. How did you manage to work with me? I am still wondering about it…

Many thanks, Vicky. I found a person who deeply cares for both appearance and soul, as I do. None of us would have believed we could become friends, at the beginning… 🙂

Many thanks, Marie. I know now I am not the only one who is “arrogant” in Salzburg 😉 !

Many thanks to you all for sharing a minute, a day, some months or years, a seminar or a flat, for fighting with me. It was all part of the journey. And believe me, I don’t remember you with rage or hate, even if we almost killed each other.

I finish with a self dedicated video, a sweet saccharine song from the 80s (oh, how I would like to turn back the time and to be 29 in 1988…:-( ) and another song from the 80s I would like to post to celebrate my birthday.

Kyrie eleison, down the road that I must travel
Kyrie eleison, through the darkness of the night
Kyrie eleison, where I’m going will you follow
Kyrie eleison, on a highway in the light

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